Diary of Jane
by LadieTAG
Summary: A response to an IC about genderbending a character as set to Breaking Benjamin's song "The Diary of Jane".


**The Diary of Jane **(a songfic kinda/genderswap)

The heavy set teenager stared at the pale yellow house in-front of him. From the woods, he had watched as Trent carried his guitar towards several other guys in a big, black van. Then the object of his obsession came out of the house, just as a beat-up looking vehicle pulled into the driveway. When they kissed, he could feel his anger and hatred towards the guy growing, despite the fact he had no clue who the guy was.

_That should be me._ As the car drove away with his beloved, he made his way out of the woods and towards the house. Lowering his binoculars and putting his headphones back on his ears, he took a screwdriver to the already messed up lock allowing him easy access to the house, as it always had. The first two times, he never made it past the entranceway - his fear would always grow and his courage would wane. _Today is going different._ He took a quick look at his surroundings. The stairs creaked under his weight. When he reached the top, he began to open each door that he could one at a time. The first one, he realized must have been her parents room, despite the fact that it looked as though it hadn't been used in months. Although he knew that to be correct, he had been keeping an eye on the house for almost a year and had only seen her parents briefly once before they took off with the rest of her family. The next bedroom was locked, so he decided to wait and come back to that one if he had to. The next was a complete mess, covered in band posters and guitar parts. After passing the bathroom and another bedroom, he came to the last room.

As he opened it, the smell of drying paint and a light perfume hit his nose. He began to sweat slightly before drawing up the courage to step inside. Feeling as though he was entering a sacred shrine, he carefully began to make his way around the room. He lowered the volume on his radio, despite knowing that if he got caught, he would be sooo screwed. As he walked around, he admired several pieces of her artwork and smiled at the twistedness some presented. As his felt his fear begin to take hold, he looked down on the ground at a paint-splattered notebook. Only one word was visible - JOURNAL. He felt the tremors building up in his hands as he picked it up. He carefully placed the prize in his beat up tan jacket. Turning around, he made sure nothing else was out of place before walking out of the room, back down the stairs and out the door.

Walking as fast as his body would allow, he made his way back into the woods that attached his backyard to her street. He struggled through the ever-growing hole in his parent's fence to get to his "fortress of solitude" - a beat up shed that his parent allowed him to convert into a place where he could invite friends over to hang out. _If I only had friends - those pathetic shells of drones. I may not be all that good-looking, but I'm no Upchuck either. They have no clue just how valuable of a friend or a boyfriend I could be. I'm smart, funny, and highly creative._ Opening up his jacket and pulling out the notebook, Daniel stared at it wildly. _I bet she does - she has to. How could she not?_

Daniel took off his headphones and turned up his radio to full blast. As he sat down on the old and severly sagging couch, he reached into a time refrigerator and pulled out a six-pack. As the liquid courage kicked in, he opened up the journal for the first time. The first page was adorned with a self-portrait and he could feel the blood leaving his upper body and going elsewhere as he stared into her azure eyes on the page. At first, he was slowly turning the pages, reading about the events of her day and admiring the small doodles and sketches on the side of each sheet. He even laughed a few times reading about her adventures with Daria. Daniel thought Daria was competition for his beloved's affections at first, but quickly dismissed it after watching her around Jane's brother.

Then he saw a sketch of the guy who picked her up that afternoon. _Tom - so the swarmy bastards name is Tom. Well __**TOM**__ you better hope to hell I don't ever meet you alone. How dare you take her from me!_ Then came to the part of the journal that sickened him to the core. As Jane described her fantasies about Tom in vivid and graphic details. He quickly downed a third beer as his anger and rage rose. Then, came the desperation. The further into the book he got, the more frantic he became searching for even just a mere reference to him. As he reached the last page - he threw the book down and let out a scream.

"That BITCH! HOW COULD SHE NOT REALIZE HOW MUCH I LOVE HER!"

Daniel stared down at the notebook with fire in his eyes.

"NOT EVEN ONE SINGLE FUCKING MENTION OF ME!"

As he felt the tears building in his eyes, he began to stomp on the journal, each time harder than the last. Daniel could taste the salt coming from the mixture of sweat and tears that were running down his face and into his mouth. He slowly picked back up the accursed book as if it was covered in venom. Then, he walked over to where he kept an old lighter.

"Not one line - not one word. Nothing. I'll show you."

One by one, Daniel ripped the pages out and set them aflame, letting the ashes fall into the empty beer bottles that now covered a tiny table. A crooked smile came over rounded face as the last page was burned away and all that was left was an empty shell. He then stared at the inside of the backing where a simpler sketch of herself and Tom was.

"Someday Jane, I will find a way to get your attention. I will make my way into your diary," his glance diverted from her to Tom briefly as the smile widened on his face. "...and I promise you - your life will never be the same."

Daniel turned off his radio, put his headphones back on and headed for his house. His mother was cooking his favorite meal and he didn't want to be late.

**End**


End file.
